My Truth

My life’s most memorable times were suddenly and tragically rewritten. Our holidays, cross-country moves, marriage proposal, wedding day, the day we decided to have a baby, my pregnancy, the birth of our son, and our first months with him are forever marked. Your choices soured what I thought to be the sweetest times in life. As it feels right now, but won’t forever, you dimmed my future.  You were a man I loved, admired in high esteem, and felt lucky to be alongside. Those feelings now forever changed as you selfishly re-wrote our everlasting story.   

Your ability to discern between right and wrong was intact, but flawed was your fortitude to make the right choice. You lied to me in every way possible. You lied about where you were, who you were with, and what you were doing. You lied to every beloved person in your life - your family, friends, trusted mentors, and likely to yourself.

As a former serviceman, you committed to stand ready to do what is right and always tell the truth; for what is gained from lying ultimately takes away from your mission. That could never be more true for your goal of a loving and lasting marriage. In your most recent calling to rescue your marriage, you remained deceitful unless I had irrefutable evidence of the contrary. Cruelly, you left the burden of proof for me to discover the truths you hid. Your continued dishonesty, at the risk of losing it all, illustrates you were not prepared to have it all. It was clear you could not uphold the duties to be true, to love, and to honor all the days of your life.

While it is possible that predispositions may have influenced your decisions, they did not determine them. In spite the selfish acts towards which you felt compelled, your sole responsibility was to be accountable for your actions and put forth effort to make changes—you didn’t. For those reasons, I’m choosing a new path forward, one of hope and one of happiness.

My new vows are to shed incredible love and light on my son. I will teach him respect for others, support his character to shine with strong morals and integrity, and above all, guide him to be a man that can be trusted. Where you fell down, I want to bravely pick back up. For many years, I gave you my best and I'm proud that I did. That said, I'm confident that while your choices are forever marked in my history, they won’t define what is yet to come. For awhile, what I was feeling was beyond words--now, I can find both healing and hope in choosing the right ones.