In my experience, as heavy as it is, grief changes over time and plays a role as it transforms. For me, it has gotten lighter, softer, and serves as a backdrop to prepare for what comes next. I smile when I think about what can soothe hard and heavy grief—delicate tears, a soft tissue, a gentle hug, a warm breeze, or sun rays on your face. The heavy weight of grief is often equally met and remedied, if only for a moment, with the most gentle of what life offers.

Grief re-shapes us, and the words people offer along the way helps that new shape take form. The words in sympathy cards are important and the blank card real estate is precious. So—after writing thousands of sympathy cards, what have I learned?

No two grief experiences are alike, and that’s precisely why it feels lonely. No one has the same life experiences, beliefs, or values that impact their grief journey in the same way. Each person alone experiences their unique grief, yet, it does not always have to feel lonely.

During November, National Children’s Grief Awareness Month, families spend more time together as we enter into another holiday season. It’s a good time to think about the youngest members of our families suffering from grief and loss.

Each change in season can bring reminders of loss. It’s called seasonal grief, where the traditions and memories of each season tug at the heart of a grieving person, reminding them of what was lost. Whether they feel the loss of a loved one, face a serious medical condition, or loss of a relationship, seasonal changes can make grief even more difficult. Here are ways you can help as the seasons change.

We want to eliminate any question of whether we’re willing to help, but we don’t yet know exactly how we could or should help. Or maybe we do, but we’re not sure what’s appropriate, or if anything we might do actually matters in the face of tragedy. It does, and here are ideas of what to say and do.

Does the idea of talking about grief make you uncomfortable? Are you afraid of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, or making someone’s grief feel even heavier? You’re not alone. We live in a culture that avoids honest discussion of the most difficult things we experience. Grief is one of those very difficult things.

There are so many ways to provide support for a grieving friend—how do you know what is best?

It’s a normal part of working life for a coworker to experience a loss. They may lose a loved one, a relationship, experience infertility issues, suffer a miscarriage or a health crisis. I’ll share ideas for the best sympathy gifts for a grieving coworker, as well as other ways to support an employee who has experienced a loss or is undergoing a major transition.

It’s National Grief Awareness Day, and an ideal opportunity for you to acknowledge the grief and loss of someone in your life. At Beyond Words Co., we do care packages. So today, on National Grief Awareness Day, I want to talk about what grief is, and provide some examples of and share why certain gifts and care package items serve a grieving heart more than others.

Knowing what to say in a sympathy card when faced with that blank space can be daunting. If you write from your heart while keeping in mind the guidelines listed here, it’s unlikely anything less than a message of love and support will be conveyed and appreciated.

Organizations should expect this reality and prepare for it, so that when our employees are struggling, we can demonstrate understanding, model an environment of support, and show that we value them as human beings

The grieving process is complex, and varies from one situation to another. But certain facets of grief tend to hold true for most, and finding items that support through each is how you can create a grief care package that uses empathy to serve purpose, rather than just signal sympathy.

We speak directly and humbly with grieving men to understand their unique experiences with grief, so that each of our sympathy care packages is curated with only the most useful, comforting, and aligned sympathy gifts for men.

I wanted to create a way to support the needs that grief surfaces AND make it easier to extend care for those grieving. I knew it could be both useful and beautiful. While the concept of a care package was not new, perhaps it could be done in a new way.

Three years into handwriting thousands of messages in sympathy cards, I’m often struck by the beautiful diversity in the messages people write to another. I have the honor of a front row seat to witness how our society extends condolences and written words of support through grief, and share those observations here.

I would not have believed that stories get better as stories fall apart. It’s only with the passing of time, of perspective gained through open eyes to others’ loss, and with the support of those around me that my story has indeed gotten better. For those going through the unthinkable right now, we’ll hold hope that yours will too.

An employer’s response to a grieving team member can mean the difference of resignation or retention, but leaders and colleagues often fumble because grief often arises from personal, sensitive situations. These three suggestions help you get past the discomfort or feeling unprepared so that you can confidently be comforting alongside grief in the workplace.

Gifts can come alongside grief. It’s taken time through my own grieving journey to understand all that I’ve actually gained, through loss. The passage of time thankfully allows us to reap the hardest-won rewards of a grieving journey. We can start to lay down what it has taken away from us to more fully appreciate what it can give back.

The Sympathy Gift Guide might be the one no wants to use, but everyone needs. We know the traditional standbys when it comes to supporting someone through grief: cards, flowers, and food. We also know that it never feels like enough. Unique sympathy gift ideas aren’t easy to come by, and loss can come into our lives at any time, so this is the one gift guide we need all year long.